Forgetting
by MarauderChick09
Summary: Love defined them, made them who they were. It was what made him throw himself wholeheartedly into getting the girl with sparkling eyes and a hidden sense of mischief that drove him spare. It was what made her run him round in circles for so long. They both knew. They always knew. Sometimes they just...forgot.


James Potter had always said that he would do anything to protect those he loved.

He had always been hotheaded, stubborn, and for some reason, when he made ludicrous statements like this, people had always believed him. Even at six years old, with his cheeks flushed, eyes bright, and childish naivety still intact, they had known not to completely discount the seemingly empty words. There was no way this little boy, whose concept of love included his mum and dad, his owl, and his broomstick, could fully understand the implications of what he was saying. There was no way he grasped what kind of world they lived in, how increasingly hard it was becoming to know who to trust, to stay safe, let alone try to worry about others. Still, there was something in his tone of voice, something about the intensity in his gaze, that let them know he wasn't joking.

As a teenager, James was arrogant, rude, and immature. To the outside world, it seemed he had forgotten his promise, but they were wrong. So wrong. James, although loud and boisterous and show offish, with the most vile temper, was the sort of boy who offered a home to his best friend when he had no where else to go. He was the sort of boy who risked expulsion, his freedom, to make someone who never felt accepted a little less lonely. He was the sort of boy who took an insecure, awkward classmate under his wing and made him extraordinary, the sort of boy who took responsibility for his friends' actions and saved the life of the person who he despised more than anyone because he knew what would happen to those he did care about if he didn't.

No, no matter what anyone might have once believed, James had never been joking when he claimed he would do anything to protect those he loved. But this did not mean that he could predict what it would mean for him to keep his word.

Lily Potter had always been one to value others above herself.

She, unlike her husband, never had to say it out loud. It was something that people could automatically tell about her, something that became obvious from the moment they met her. She was humble, and kind, and also willing to make sacrifices to make sure that everyone else around her was okay, whether she loved them or not. Ironically, her goodness is what probably made her better than most people, or at least what set her apart, but she was completely blind to it. In her mind, she was awkward and ginger and, if anything, lucky to be apart of the magical world, lucky that people seemed to care about her. She had no idea that, in reality, she was so full of love that people were drawn to her. She had no idea that the kids at school looked up to her because of her fearlessness, the way she seemed too big for Cokesworth, or that, a little bit later, her peers at Hogwarts (or most of them, anyways), admired her for her talent, and for the way she never seemed to stop laughing, or committing random little acts of kindness.

She was the sort of girl who volunteered to walk her friends to the office when they twisted their ankles in P.E. class, the sort of girl who cried along with her sister when her first boyfriend broke up with her. She saw the good in a boy who'd had a terrible life, dedicated herself to being his only friend even when people judged her for it. She ignored the prejudices hurled her way because of who her parents were, told herself it wasn't their fault they'd been brainwashed. She did her best to protect those parents from being related to her, to shield them from the war that was quickly taking over what had once been a safe haven for her. She did her best not to burden her friends with her pain, but kept a smile plastered on her face, even when it hurt her cheeks to do so.

Love defined them, made them who they were. It was what made him throw himself wholeheartedly into getting the girl with sparkling eyes and a hidden sense of mischief that drove him spare. It was what made her run him round in circles for so long. It was what made them join the Order in the first place, fear for those they loved, and it was what drove them into hiding, love for their unborn child. Now, cooped up in a small, plain cottage in a bland, uninteresting town with nothing to do for the sixteenth month in a row, it was what kept them from going insane.

Neither James nor Lily was meant to sit idle by when more important things were going on elsewhere. Their friends, their families were all in danger, and there was nothing they could do about it. They had been damned by a prophecy, by a man who wanted to harm their little family, their little boy. They were twenty one years old, still only children, and they were being forced to be responsible, to do the right thing for everyone as opposed to what was right for them. It was not natural, it was too soon. They were not ready for this-not for any of it- and it was slowly driving them mad.

They had lived recklessly ever since they left school. They had graduated and had suddenly been making a difference, catching bad guys and discovering important information and protecting the innocent. Their lives were glamorous and exciting and beautifully tragic. When she'd gotten pregnant, they knew things would be different, but they had no way of knowing just how much. Now, their explosive personalities were too close together; they saw too much of each other and not enough of anyone else and Harry still cried all night sometimes and it was all becoming too much to handle for two people who had never expected any of this.

Sometimes, it caused them to forget just how much they loved each other. They knew, deep down, that they wouldn't change any of it if it meant giving the other one up, but some nights, when Harry was sick and it was storming out, they just...forgot.

Tonight was one of those nights.

It had been a bad fight, where both of their faces turned red and they had both said things they didn't mean. James, stubborn as he was, had fumed in the sitting room for a while, even set up a bed for himself. Lily had stormed upstairs, presumably to their room, about an hour ago. Now, he found the stirrings of regret beginning to disturb his rage, as hard as he tried to fight it, and he had left the couch and begun to creep down the hallway to...apologize to his wife.

"Lil," he sighed, pushing open his bedroom door. Lily had done her best to make the house as comfortable as possible. The small master bedroom was painted a nostalgic shade of maroon, and the overstuffed furniture was reminiscent of the Gryffindor common room. Unfortunately, although the large bed was situated on the right side of the room as usual, and the fire place was still crackling, the most familiar feature was missing. James checked the bathroom and the nursery, and felt his heart lodge in his throat when he saw she was still nowhere to be found. Frantically, he searched the rest of the house, and his panic steadily increased until he got the bright idea to check outside. They rarely spent any time in the backyard, with its cracked pavement and unruly grass, and the fact that it was pouring out made it an even more unlikely option, but he was desperate. Sure enough, there she was, cross legged on the porch, staring out at the unkempt garden and brown picket fence. His relief was quickly overshadowed by a much darker emotion, and his previous guilt was forgotten.

"What the hell?" James reached out to touch her arm, and she jumped, reaching for her wand and drawing it halfway out of her pocket before she realized she recognized his voice. James was too angry to feel bad for startling her.

"You can't just disappear like that Lily. Do you know how fucking scared I was?"

"I'm in the backyard." She raised an eyebrow, and didn't get it.

"That's not the point! You didn't tell me!"

"I can go wherever I want, you're not my keeper!" Lily swelled, more than ready to start yelling again, but something about her expression gave him pause. She had stood up, and, although she was several inches shorter than him, her chin was tilted in defiance, and he had a better view of her face. He placed a hand on either side of her cheeks.

"What are you-"

"Did you go outside?"

Her emerald green eyes darted from side to side before meeting his again. "Er…we are outside."

"No, I meant…" he trailed off. He didn't really need to ask, but he'd been hoping…"You didn't step off the porch, did you?"

Lily once again glanced out at the rain, which had been coming down hard all week, this time pointedly.

James felt his anger dissipate, like air from a balloon. Gently, he moved his thumb to wipe away the moisture on her face. She blushed and tried to move away, but he made sure she didn't go anywhere.

"Lily…"

She grabbed ahold of his arms and struggled her way free, although he didn't put up much of a fight this time. "You don't have to feel too sorry for me alright? I'm not some fragile little...I just...this isn't…"

"Lily," he said again, cutting her off. "Whatever it is, tell me. Was it...did I…"

She laughed shakily. Her eyes were beginning to water again. "Look at us, a pair of bumbling idiots."

He wasn't very amused. He had a terrible feeling in his stomach. "Lily. Tell me."

"I know I'm not perfect, alright? I don't like it in here-I don't- and I know I can be a raging bitch sometimes-"

"That's not-"

"Shhh! You asked!" Lily glared at him sternly, cautioning him with her eyes not to interrupt her again, and even he wasn't stupid enough to defy her. She was something when she was cross. "I know we both hate it in here. And I...I just…"

"Lily-"

"It's my fault." Her eyes widened when she said it, like she hadn't meant to, but she continued on anyway. "It's my fault we're here. You should've never...you shouldn't have married me. I've ruined everything. Merlin I... I've ruined your whole life..."

Her voice broke. James reached for her, instinctively, and she didn't protest this time. She allowed him to fold his arms around her, press his lips against her hair as she buried her face in his chest. He waited for her to calm down, to stop crying, before gently pulling away, keeping his hands on her shoulders.

"I love you," he said simply, and she started to roll her eyes. "No, Lily, I love you. I wouldn't trade you for anything, and you're not the reason for this. What's happening to us isn't fair, and it's not your fault. None of this is your fault. As for me, I'm just a stupid ponce who takes his anger out on the nearest available target. You got it?"

He would do anything to protect those he loved. He may've been brash and he may have occasionally done ill advised things without thinking about them first, but Moony and Wormtail and Padfoot, Harry and Lily-they were everything to him. He would give everything he was and everything he would ever have to keep them safe...to make sure they got out of this okay. He loved them more than anything. He always had, he always would. And he would do anything to protect those he loved.

She valued others above herself. She was beautiful and witty and graceful and kind, but she didn't see any of it. James was her everything, everything she wanted to be and more. She saw the good in him, the bravery and the passion, and they'd created this perfect little person together- a sweet, energetic little boy who she loved more than anything else. She valued others above herself.

They both knew. They always knew. Sometimes they just...forgot.


End file.
